Friday November 27, 2020
Election Day -24
53 Days until the Inauguration on January 20, 2021
The above headline has nothing to do with anything. I just saw it as I was getting ready to write and, well, it is Black Friday so why not? This raises the question of how is your fairy Garden growing? (Doing?)
Went to the grocery store this morning. No one was there. The help outnumbered me by a lot.
Okay, so, I was going to tell you why the Thanksgiving screed got delayed in posting. Well, this is my excuse.
Shelby was in the middle of beginning the preparations for our Thanksgiving Day meal. I had just finished my walk and was getting ready to take a shower when we got a message that we were going to do a Zoom call with the kids in a few minutes. The call began we had just finished catching up and looking at the cutest grand baby in the world when the doorbell rang.
I went to the door to discover a WAWA bag on our Welcome mat. The young woman who delivered it was walking toward her car. I knew it wasn’t for us. As she got into her car I waved and yelled, but to no avail. She drove off. I brought the bag inside. It contained a 20 oz Coke bottle (cold) and a turkey meal (hot). The meal had two plastic containers: one appeared to be turkey and one appeared to be dressing. The bag had a small order slip stuck to it with tape and the WAWA bag was marked “Door Dash” and had a the name Na Lee on it. Otherwise there was nothing to tell us whom it belonged to.
As soon as we hung up with the kids I called WAWA. They said to call Door Dash. The nice man with the Indian accent didn’t even want to take the information down. He said he had no way to tracking it. Either I could keep it or throw it out.
I looked up The last name on facebook and decided the woman in Singapore did not order it. Nor did I think the thirty or so people in Vietnam and South East Asia had ordered it. There were two folks with that name in Virginia, but they were up in the Washington DC area. We posted on the neighborhood website – nothing.
I thought about the folks in the other sub-division who had the same house number as we do and with whom I have become friendly delivering mail we get for them. Maybe there’s another house in our development with the same number?
Oh yes said Shelby I think we have gotten mail for them and they live on the road behind us, and they have an Asian name.
The kid got in the car and drove over there. Rang the doorbell. I heard a loud voice yelling “Mom!”
Moments later a young Asian woman opened the door. I held up the bag. Told her what happened. She said thanks for walking it over. She said she didn’t have time to cook as she was getting ready to go into work. She was also trying to stay behind the door as it seemed she had just gotten out of the shower.
Who goes to work in the late afternoon? I had to think she was a nurse or front line worker of some kind.
I’m glad we were able to solve the mystery.
If I had written this up and posted it yesterday I would have said my good deed for the day was done.
However, because I didn’t and that counted as yesterday’s good deed, there’s still a chance for you.
Happy Black Friday!
PS Spotted on the road the day before Thanksgiving! A Ford Falcon. My brother says it’s the original year – 1960. This car in its day was considered a piece of shit. I remember Rob’s friend, George Fonde, commenting about a Falcon, saying, “Yeah, 2 speed automatic with a tach.*”
It turns our according to my bro that this is a riff on something Eddie Haskell said on Leave It to Beaver. Eddie said he put a tachometer on his car. When asked what the rpm read he replied he didn’t know because the engine didn’t rev that high to register.
* The Falcon was made with an automatic two speed transmission. The joke here is that you need a tachometer to tell you when the engine is revving high and thus time to shift gears. That makes sense if you have a manual transmission but not an automatic because an automatic transmission will shift gears on its own. Therefore the tach is not needed. Get it? (Ha ha ha ha) No? Oh sorry. Go back to “*” and read again.
This reminds me of what I really wanted to write about. This is a boffo idea and shows the importance of having lots of stuff (or ideas) lying around.
Let’s start in the middle with an interview with Joe Buck. He’s a well known sportscaster who calls both baseball and football games. In March when things had dried up he did a fishing tournament, which he said was a terrible experience. The fish weren’t biting. The fishermen had on mics and earpieces and didn’t turn them on or muted them. Joe didn’t know much about fishing. It was ninety minutes of torture – live.
The other opportunity, which he turned down, was to announce for a porn channel. He was asked to sit at his desk, watch folks going at it and announce the play by play. I thought about that. I tried to imagine what he would have to say. I thought about baseball references. The size of the guy’s bat, the bases stolen or taken. Two balls deep in the count – home run!
I realized that after a few minutes of this it would be repetitious because porn, unlike sports, the outcome is pretty well known. So are the formations and plays. Then I thought about my boffo idea, which has been stolen before with auto GPS systems. My idea was to have different voices for your GPS system. I like the idea of having Chris Rock yell directions at me, others like Batman or Samuel L. Jackson. Then the GPS folks started doing it.
Do you see the opportunity here? Yes, have different actors narrate the porn.
Brilliant.
I’ll leave it there.
PS Christmas preparations (not mine. Someone in the neighborhood.) Or maybe a fairy garden. You be the judge.
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