Friday, July 12, 2024
I know there’s lots to be worried about, but there are issues that just can’t wait.
These are not them.
In the world of tacky I have discovered a new entrant. Are You The One? or some name like that for a new Hallmark Series. It’s a competition to pick the right guy for Christmas. Twelve men (is it twelve? I dunno.) who look handsome in a “I like to take walks on the beach or the park, love dogs (or cats) and am remarkably empathetic” are competing in a new Christmas classic. And like Top Chef after each episode one is sent home. Instead of “Please pack your knives and go,” it’s “Brad, you will not be going home for Christmas.”
I have always advocated for more violence o TV in these circumstances. What I’d like to see is team of dwarves dressed up like Santa’s helpers come out of the woodwork and attack the loser with whips a flails screaming, “Loser! Get out of here!” But, alas, I fear it will be more milque toast. Bleech! We need the writers of South Park or The Simpsons to add some good olde American dreck to the proceedings.
OMG, what is wrong with this nation? We are producing shows like The Real Housewives of … and none of them look like the women I see in the supermarket. Real? There’s nothing real about any of them. Fake eyelashes and all. They’ve got a spin-off called The Valley. Did they get this idea from watching Saturday Night Live?
So, we’ve got big problems and this is what people are watching? Or trying to be enticed to watch?
Me? I admit, I get sucked into watching snatches of video on Facebook. I was watching one on my phone the other day from Britain’s Got Talent. A young woman came on and Simon asked her a question a she responded, “You’ve probably heard my voice, but never seen my voice.”
“Oh? Why is that?” asked Simon.
“Because I sang Never Enough from the musical movie and the actress lip synched to my singing.”
All the judges sat back and this young lady from Brooklynn blew the room away.
Okay, now remember I said I was watching on my phone and the show was Britain’s Got Talent.
I switched to my computer to watch it. I typed in the woman’s name (Loren Allred), found her on YouTube and as I watched Simon asked his question. She aswered. He stared in open mouth amazement and she blew the room away.
But in the middle of her performance I noticed she was wearing a different dress than in her appearance on my phone. This was odd as the audio track was the same. Or, at least, I think it was, then I realized I was watching America’s Got Talent.
So I think Simon Cowell deserves an award for his performance on one of these two shows for being gobsmacked a second time. Either that or he’s seen so many performances he can’t keep them straight and forgets.
And the Olympics are coming up! In the ads, they show Simon Biles doing a dismount that is her normal crazy double twist double somersault whatever. How does she do that? What exactly is she doing anyway? I don’t care. It makes me giggle and gives me the shivers every time I see it. And she’s got a new thing she’s going to be doing. It’s a double pike something or other. No other woman has attempted this. Biles has done it once in competition in 2021. Less than half a dozen men do it. One of them said of Biles that she is performing on a lower table (I guess this is a vault, but I don’t know what else a table could be) and she gets higher than he does when she does this move. He asks, “do you know the kind of strength you need to get that far up?” Uh, no. No, I don’t, but I’m guessing a lot. The next time you see the picture of Simon flying through the air with one leg straight in front of her and another behind, look at the top of her thigh. I had never paid attention but OMG that muscle is incredible.
In other news, we are being barraged with the fact that Biden is old, and a little bit that Trump not only lies constantly but he says really inane things. Sarah Cooper (bless her heart) is tirelessly working to lip synch the most inane ones. Here’s his now infamous one about sharks and batteries and boats:
Yeah, but Biden’s old.
ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR MINDS?
Why is this even close? One guy has a stutter, which he has worked on all his life to overcome. He’s old. He moves a bit slow. He has senior moments.
The other guy is inane on a level rarely seen in public. It might be fun to have him sit on a seat in a dunk tank or put him on a show like I dunno The Apprentice? And have a team of judges say, “You’re fired” or “Please pack you knives and go,” or “Sorry, you won’d be coming home for Christmas,” or “Four years in jail for fraud on 34 counts, and twenty five more for exposing national secrets.”
Yeah, but …
Aaaaaaah? I’ve been sitting here for 10 days with Covid. Thank god I had a TV. I didn’t watch any of those shows. I cannot imagine what my mind would have been had I. No wonder some people can understand Trump, they must watch those programs.
BTW, Paxlovid helps but it is the grossest medication I have ever taken for 5 days. Bleech!
Reality TV, in my opinion, was the start of the ‘Reign of Stupid’. Pretty much none of them are anywhere near real, they’re heavily scripted. And, if the Apprentice had never been a thing, we’d likely never have Trump. People like Paris Hilton, the Kardashians…. All idiots but people worship them.
But, I do l like the manic pack of dwarves idea, That, I’d watch.