Day 100 – The Unhinged Reality

Tuesday April 29, 2025

“I went to Harvard.”

“You went to Harvard?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Last year.”

“Wait, you walked onto the campus at Harvard?”

“Yes.”

“You weren’t admitted to study there were you?”

“Heavens, no.”

And one can easily see the intellectual dishonesty of the above. One can say they “went to Harvard” if they walked onto the campus, but that in no way means they applied for addmission and were accepted.

One could even lie about walking on the campus of Harvard and say they went to Harvard. Who would know?

Now, let’s say your whole life has been lived like that. Fibbing, telling lies, boasting about things you claimed to have done but really hadn’t. What if it got so bad that you staged things to make it appear that you had done them? What if you had paid people to come to a rally and act like they supported you? 

What if you repeated those lies over and over again until you kind of believed them?

What if you got others to repeat those lies? What if you bullied and threatened people telling them that if they didn’t act like they believed those lies they would be hurt in some way. Maybe, lose their job? Maybe, their family is threatened by a chrank caller? Or perhaps you are investigated by the IRS? Something.

Why you’d be President of the Unitd States!

But I didn’t start writing this to talk about that. No. I came to tell you how my negotiations on trade on behalf of Heard and McDonald Island are going.

Would you believe that I got ushered into the White House?

Would you believe that I got to talk to tha assistant to the undersecretary of the vice soething or other?

They were very excited to hear from me. They wanted to know if they could count Heard separate from McDonald in terms of tallying up the number of deals they were doing.

I told them I thought this was the only way to go because the folks (and by that I meant penguins) on McDonald were really obstreporous and I thought were perhaps Nazis. Nazi penguins! Imagine that.

No sooner had I gotten the words out of my mouth than both Elon Musk and Stephen Miller burst into the rooms, inguiring, “Nazis?” Elon started jacking off his straight arm salute. He couldn’t seem to stop himself. It was like an animitronic doll saluting and turning, saluting and turning. Meanwhile, Miller was babbling about some “Camp of the Saints” and zero policy and immigrants and he wasn’t allowing any shit leaving immigrants into this country. He obviously knew something about Heard and Mcdonald because if there’s one thing penguins do is shit, and it stinks.

Would you believe that?

No?

Okay, well how about …