Day 502

Day 502 Tuesday June 5, 2018 1,076 Days to Go

Dateline: Disney World Automaton Center, Sometime in the not too distant future

Gathered in the center are the Disney brass, various members of the Intel Community (IC), Air Force & Army generals with aide de camps, the Disney Automaton Staff including managers and programmers. Not present but brought up on various TV screens are Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Sarah Sanders, Paul Ryan, and Mitch McConnell.

Pres of Disney (PoD): “Gentlemen, and Ladies, We thought it important to bring you here to show you some disturbing developments.”
Trump (DT): “This better be good.”
PoD: “It’s not good, sir. Not good at all.”
DT: Yeah. Let’s see it.
PoD: Smithers, if you would please. Sir, Smithers is in charge of all the dolls.
Smithers (Sm): Automatons Sir.
PoD: Whatever. And he discovered a new dashboard panel that someone inserted into our doll programming.
Sm: Automatons
PoD: Automadons
Sm: Automatons.
PoD: That’s what I said. Now stop interrupting and show everyone what you found.
Sm: Yes sir. Late last week we were getting ready to upload to our active community, that’s all the automatons in the park that talk and act with our visitors, an upgrade to their software. It wasn’t much really, just a few tweaks to keep them from acting spasmodically in certain situations. But I happened to notice this.
[Brings up a Dashboard Panel on a large overhead monitor.]
It looks like our normal Dashboard Panel – almost. But something was wrong with it and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first. You know how sometimes you get that feeling
DT: Yes, I know what you mean. I get that feeling a lot. Ha ha.
Half the room: Ha ha. Ha.
PoD: Get on with it Smithers. Just show them.
Sm: Yes sir. There was a button on the dashboard that was not there before when I pushed it, I got a whole different screen.
[pushes button, new dashboard screen appears on monitor.]
Sm: If you notice several of our key automatons are listed with check boxes beside them: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Mickey, Pluto …
PoD: Yes, we can see that get on with it.
Sm: There’s also a panel of switches and dials. None of which we programmed.
PoD Assistant (PoDA): As you can see Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a switch for “Party.”
DT: I like parties.
PoDA: Yes sir. This rotor switch seems to select “Republican” or “Democrat”
Sm: There’s a position in between, which we’ve call “Republican Lite.”
PoDA: Yes. However weren’t you showing me that it isn’t quite in the middle?
Sm: Yes, it seems you can move to one side or the other and get what we call “Centrist Republican” which no longer functions, and “Moderate Democrat” which is labelled “Obsolete.”
PoDA: Yes, and you can crank the dial hard left or hard right. I guess you know what happens then.
PoD: It appears that the automa-dolls, whatever, can be programmed to specific modes of the political spectrum.
PoDA: And they can take on the personalities of current politicians.
DT: Am I in there?
PoD: Yes, mr. president you are.
DT: Who am I?
PoD: Well sir, there are a number of people you could be. There’s a selector switch. But the default is…
DT: Who?
PoD: Goofy.
DT: I don’t like that.
Sm: It can be changed.
DT: To who?
Sm: Whom. Sir. Mickey.
DT: Is he always like this? I like Mickey. Change it to Mickey.
PoD: Yes sir. Smithers is kind of like Radar O’Reilly. Sir. Change it Smithers.
Sm: Yes sir. What mode sir?
DT: Mode? What do you mean mode?
PoD: You can select the political bent of the speaker sir.
DT: Who did this?
member #1 of the IC (mIC-1): We have analyzed the work and it’s top notch. Has to be the North Koreans, sir.
DT: North Korea? Little Rocket Man?
mIC-1 (M1): Yes sir.
PoD: Set it to ‘Normal’ Smithers.
Sm: There is no normal sir.
PoD: You know what I mean. The default, and let’s hear it.
Mickey: Hello this is Mickey Mouse! [bright cheery typical Mickey Mouse voice]
[voice changes] Speaking to you now as Donald Trump. It’s going to be great. Sad. You’ll get tired of winning.
DT: Great voice. I like it.
Mickey: Only the best people. I know the best people.
DT: This is great. Kim’s terrific.
Mickey: I have a great brain. McCain is a loser. Mexicans are rapists. Build the wall.
DT: What’s the problem?
PoD: There are several modes, sir.
DT: So?
Sm: One’s called “hard-right” like this.
Mickey: We are not so innocent. We’ve got killers too. There were bad people on both sides. The Iran deal is terrible – terrible.
DT: That’s not so bad.
Sm: I haven’t thrown the switch. Why don’t I go to “full RNP” mode.
[throws switch]
PoD: Don’t do it! Not full Republic of North Korea mode!
Mickey: And the running dog lackey Americans. We will reign terror upon you with our ballistic missiles and nuclear bombs.
DT: I don’t like that. What else you got?
Sm: Ivanka, sir.
DT: Who’s she?
Sm: Your daughter.
DT: No you idiot. What Disney character is she?
Sm: Cruella de Vil – by default, mode equals “stoopid.”
PoD: Change her to Snow White.
DT: Yes, Snow White. Clean. Pure. That’s good. I like that.
Sm: The default mode then changes to ‘Bee.’
DT: As in Bumble Bee?
PoD: No sir, as in Samantha.

[to be continued}

In other news – It looks like Paul Manafort might not be spending time with his family for the holidays (any holidays) but rather going to the pokey, before his trial. Something about using an encrypted app to talk to potential witnesses? Huh, they call that tampering with witnesses. They say it’s a crime. Who knew? Oh, everybody. Okay then.

Here’s a little something to consider, once again: “Does an innocent person act the way Donald Trump does?”

In even more news, (not really news but what are you going to call it?) The Trump legal team is taking the approach that the president is, if not above the law, well at least the law doesn’t apply to him if brought about by the Justice Department because he ultimately is head of the Justice Department and can thus pardon himself, kill off any investigation, fire anyone in Justice, etc. etc. etc. It’s not a novel defense. In fact, Richard Nixon used this defense. Just before he resigned.
Fox News has been saying that the Republican Party is now the party of Trump, and it sure looks that way. Remember, the Republicans in Congress were all behind Nixon. Until they weren’t.

And in one last thing to consider: “Is Ivanka a feckless cunt?” Well, consider that she is in the administration and has done nothing of note. While her dad is going along with an idiotic rip-‘em out of the arms of mothers policy on immigration she’s posting pictures of her clutching a baby. I’d have to say yeah, she’s useless. Who would do such an insensitive thing? Oh. A feckless cunt? Got it.

1,076 Days to Go

PS Between a rock and a rock.