Day 1184 What I would do if I were Speaker of the House

Day 1184 What I would do if I were Speaker of the House

Monday December 23, 2019

321 Days until the 2020 election and 402 days until the Inauguration

First of all I am not Speaker of the House. But if I were …

Or more specifically, if I were Nancy Pelosi …

(Wouldn’t you like to see her give a Master Class?)

Okay, what’s the situation? Well, Mitch McConnell has said that he’s going to do whatever he can to make the Senate trial a mockery. He’s not pretending to be fair. He’s working, by his own admission, with the White House on whatever he does. Forget the special oath, forget that he’s a co-equal part of government, forget that at a trial the prosecution should not be working with the defense – forget all that. Mitch has told us he’s Trump’s bitch. (Hum, “Mitch the Bitch” It has a nice ring don’t you think?)

So unless and until Mitch decides to play fair there is no reason for Nancy to send the two articles of impeachment over to the Senate. So what should she do? Well I know what I’d do! (And this will show you why I shouldn’t be Speaker.)

I’d start another impeachment inquiry. I mean you’ve got the ten Obstruction of Justice items laid out in the Mueller Report. I’d start there. I’d also hire actors to do their best “GoneWith The Wind” Scarlett and Butterfly McQueen voices. (FYI Butterfly McQueen* said the famous line, “I don’t know nuthin’ about birthin’ no babies” in GWTW.) *Her real name.

Picture if you will an actress dressed like Nancy Pelosi but speaking in a Scarlett O’Hara voice …

“Oh Mr. McConnell I’m sorry you think our product is shoddy. Why, I declare, I don’t know what I’m going to do! I know. I’ll start a new inquiry tomorrow! And it will be the best inquiry the Senate, and the nation have ever seen!

“Why, I’ll subpoena all those nasty witnesses you said I didn’t call before. Surly then they’ll come and testify! Why yes, it might take a long time. Right up until the election I suppose. And it will be in all the newspapers every day. More facts, more evidence, every day about the crimes of this president and his people. It will go on and on and on. I just don’t know what else to do? Because we want to be fair don’t we? I mean you do want to know the truth? Of course you do!

“I suppose one count of criminal misconduct like obstruction of justice could take one or maybe two weeks to investigate. Imagine how long ten will take. Why it might go right up to the election. Imagine that?

“I can hear it now on the nightly news. ‘The House today took up the last article of Obstruction of Justice. It is obvious to anyone that the Speaker of the House (That’s me!) is doing a thorough job and leaving no stone unturned…’

“I imagine as the election gets nearer why our plea to the courts to have those witnesses testify that have refused would be complete and they could then tell the American people exactly what happened! Wouldn’t that be swell? You did want those witnesses to testify didn’t you? As I recall that was one of your complaints about our ‘shoddy work product’?

“And regardless we’d all be reading that book by Mr. Bolton. You know the one? The one where he tells what happened, but won’t testify to us unless we subpoena him and the White House fights it in court and they try to run out the clock to the next election? 

“Why it will be a fine run up to the election don’t you think?

“And if you don’t like those ten articles of impeachment and promise to have – what do your friends in my House call it? Oh yes, ‘a sham.’ Why we can start another investigation. What would that one be about? How about Russian money laundering? Why it could include Deutsche Bank, Trump real estate deals, The Bank of Cyprus and that fine fellow of yours at Commerce, and we could include how the Russians try to influence politicians. You know like making an investment in really poor areas of our country like eastern Kentucky. You must be so proud to have them in your state. Too bad you didn’t think to help those folks out yourself…

“My my …”

321 Days until the 2020 election and 402 days until the Inauguration

PS Shelby with our Congresswoman, Abigail Spanberger. Two women who are truly making a difference in our lives. Abigail has introduced legislation to bring down the cost of prescription drugs. Shelby has for years been advocating for diabetes research and lowering the cost of life saving drugs like insulin. (Compare that to our former member of Congress who fought against The Affordable Care Act and anything that would have helped people afford health insurance and didn’t ever visit with regular folks.)