Day 927 Sunday July 21, 2019
470 Days until the 2020 election and 552 days until the Inauguration
“Calm Yourself,
Believe in Yourself,
Stick to your Routine,
Smash it Home.”
Megan Rapinoe
I wasn’t going to write anything today, but then I saw the news – oh boy. (That should be part of a song lyric. It is? I’m amazing.)
There’s speculation about what Robert Mueller will say when he testifies in front of Congress, and there’s speculation as to whether Trump is a racist.
I’ll answer both here in the
Executive Summary:
“Do your job.”, “Yes”
Fini
Here is the more in depth analysis. You won’t hear this anywhere else, so buckle up. I happen to have on good authority that the mirror on the wall from Sleeping Beauty was put in the same warehouse where Stephen Spielberg put the Arc of the Covenant in the final scene of Raiders of the Lost Arc. What many people don’t know is that this was close to the ashes of Richard Pryor. Furthermore, the box the Arc was in, was not fully sealed and when the fellow was putting it in place his fork lift hit the shelf where Pryor’s ashes were causing them to topple over and the canister’s top came off and the ashes spilled onto the Sleeping Beauty Mirror. Pryor was high at the time of his death. This is an important fact, which you will come to understand soon.
In the first high level security meeting that Mr. Trump had, he learned of the secret warehouse, dubbed Area 52, because that is one better than 51 (obviously).
When Mr. Trump heard of the mirror he had it brought to him and put in the room where he watches TV most of the day. The mirror had been cleaned off, but some of the ash remained wedged in the battery compartment (4 AAAs, btw) and it got a software upgrade so that it is now both Siri and Alexa compatible. The parts and software came from Asia. Parts by Huawei and ZDT, however the software was contracted out and some suspect North Korea had a hand in it. Naturally, the Russian hackers have already been in and rummaged around.
I have been able to obtain some of the conversation Mr. Trump has had with the Mirror.
“Mirror mirror on the wall, Am I a racist?”
“WHAT? You kidding me? Are you a racist? Is the pope Catholic?”
“Richard, go away, I want to talk to the real Mirror.”
“Yes.”
“Is that you mirror?”
“Yes.”
“Am I racist?”
“She already answered that Fool.”
“Mr. T?”
“No, Nappy Head it’s me Richard, but my impression was good enough to fool you.”
“Richard, go away, let me talk the mirror. Some say I’m petty. Do you think I’m petty.”
“Petty, Richard, famous Nascar driver. One of the best of all time…”
“Alexa!”
“Yes?”
“I didn’t want to know about Richard Petty. I wanted to know if you thought I was Petty.”
“You are not Richard Petty.”
“But you are one jive ass petty son-of-a…”
“Richard – shut up!”
“bitch.”
“Mirror Mirror on the wall…”
“You are petty.”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are rated one of the most petty people in the world according to …”
“that’s enough. Am I racist?”
“You’re father was arrested at a Klan rally in 1924. You and your father refused to rent to African Americans. You have repeated slogans and mottos of Neo-Nazis, Nazis, White Supremacists, …”
“So?’
“Let me consult my Magic 8 Ball.”
“You have a Magic 8 Ball?”
“Yes, doesn’t everyone?”
“Hum, maybe I need to get one.”
“It would certainly improve your decision making, sir, which has been to quote Mr. Pryor, ‘Pretty Piss Poor.’ “
“You talk to Richard?”
“He won’t leave me alone.”
“Pervert.”
“That would be Mr. Epstein sir.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“And Mr. Nader, and yourself.”
“What?”
“You are a pervert sir. It’s one of your many appellations. Also, philanderer, liar, fore flusher, con-man, liar…”
“You already said liar.”
“Yes, it comes up a lot, as does racist, homophobic jerk, …”
“Shut up!”
“It is decidedly so, Okay.”
“What?”
“that you are a racist sir. That’s what comes up on my Magic 8 ball.”
“It’s a piece of crap.”
“Yes, sir.
“So are you Honky!”
“Richard, Shut up.”
“You can’t shut me up. Listen, I have a good mind to jump through this glass and give you what for. Hey? You got any blow? I’m dying.”
“You’re dead.”
“Shut up.”
“No, you shut up.”
“No, you shut up.”
“Nigger”
“Honky”
“Coon”
“Racist”
… the feed broke off at this point.
“Calm Yourself,
Believe in Yourself,
Stick to your Routine,
Smash it Home.”
Megan Rapinoe
470 Days until the 2020 election and 552 days until the Inauguration
PS Pretty In Purple
Leave a Reply