Day 929 Tuesday July 23, 2019
468 Days until the 2020 election and 550 days until the Inauguration
Today we take an inside look at the software that runs Mike Pence. First off, I gotta say I’m never sure if it’s Pence or Pense. One suggests he thinks as from the French “penser” (“to think”) or is it as in the Cockney “not worth two pence.” It turns out it’s the later.
At any rate, what many people don’t know is that Mike Pence is really an animatronic doll. This explains how he can stand for hours behind the president with that stupid half smile on his face, as if he’s in awe of that idiot. It also explains why he says the same things over and over regardless of the subject matter.
In truth, Mike Pence was an experiment by a disgruntled engineer working for Steve Wozniak who left the Chuckie Cheese animatronics lab in disgust when they wouldn’t put any pervert mice characters into the line up.
The mouse, FinkRat, was going to be a jive talking hipster, “Hey Baby, How Ya Doin’?” but the management got scared that the mothers of the children wouldn’t like it. I think it was the ass grab gesture that he built into the robot (a la Papa Bush) that really did it (“Ho? What’s that? You mighty fine! You know dat?”) that finally killed FinkRat.
This engineer dropped from sight for many years. There were rumors. He, or what looked to be his prototypes, were seen at various political rallies. Cheering lustily and holding up signs with ridiculous sayings on them. Then came Mike Pence. His latest incarnation of evil. (Later versions are believed to be Stephen Miller.)
I, fortunately, have gotten hold of one of the early versions of the firmware for the Mike Pence Animatronic Doll (MPAD). Many of these features are still seen in the current version. Take, for instance, his answer to the questions of whether Donald Trump is racist and whether or not he (Trump) is/was opposed to the crowd at his latest rally yelling “Send Her Back!” in answer to the hate Trump stirred up around the four Congresswomen known as “The Squad.”
The following is provided with translation and motivational subroutines:
“Oh, the president could not have been more clear” – Call Obfuscation and Prevarication functions) [this is going to be a whopper!]
“He made it very clear that he rejects this kind of talk” [oh boy, he loved it.]
“and I think if you listened to he said.” – Call Head_Nod Routine with pseudo ‘like I care’ look [I have no idea what he said but I don’t need to because the same thing is hard wired in and needs no capture speech and spit back routine.]
“I don’t think he could have been more clear.” [more hardwired.]
#################
Speaking of Stephen Miller…
His uncle has written a piece that explains how Miller’s grandparents escaped Soviet Jewish extermination attempts and moved to the U.S. with $8 in their pocket. Once here they worked hard and his relatives founded a company that became listed on the American Stock Exchange. So how did Stephen become such a racial bigot? Interesting question, have you ever noticed that Stephen’s head looks like one of the characters in Sponge Bob Square Pants? No? Next time you’re in the pizza parlor where they show Nic take a look… Back to Stephen…
I wonder if Stephen, like the classic closet gay or fire and brimstone preacher who both vehemently deny attraction to those of their sex (only to be discovered later with a young boy), is trying desperately to deny his heritage? “If I stomp on immigrants maybe no one will know I’m an immigrant?” Could that be what’s going on?
Or is he just an animatronic experiment that went horribly wrong?
I’m not judging. I’m just putting the question out there.
I too have become more sensitized and gotten a software upgrade of sorts. I realize how it is unfair to ask, “When did you stop beating your wife?” as a question. Rather it should be, “When did you stop beating your spouse?”
I have evolved.
We are all one. Well, except for …
468 Days until the 2020 election and 550 days until the Inauguration
PS STOOPAH!
Leave a Reply