Archives for October 2020

Thursday October 15, 2020

17 Days* until the election on November 3^rd

97 Days until the Inauguration on January 20, 2021

There’s so much to talk about. Instead I’m going to write about Eddie Haskell.* He was the character on “Leave It To Beaver” that was the older brother, Wally’s, “bad” friend.

• The actor who played Eddie, Ken Osmond, died May 18th.

If you aren’t familiar with Eddie Haskell it would be hard to describe him and his role. He represented the road parents did not want their kids to take in 1950s America. Eddie would be the kid not going to college. Instead he would be the one getting a job as a mechanic or some blue collar job. Occupations looked down upon at that time.

But the real genius of Eddie Haskell was his faux fawning over June Clever, Beaver’s mom. It wasn’t sexual. There was no innuendo. It was a genuinely phony display of interest. Whenever he was in the presence of June Clever it was as if this switch went off. He was overly indulgent and phonily interested and polite. It was over the top, but restrained.

I’ve known guys to have a switch that goes off whenever a woman enters the room. I can be in the middle of a conversation with one of them and a woman enters the room. Bang, switch goes off, their honing radar goes on, and I’m forgotten. 

It is said this was true of Robin Williams, but in a comedic on-stage presence. If you were talking to him and another person entered the room. Bang, the switch went off and he went into his on-stage persona. Maybe, the number was after two people – I forget.

So it was with Eddie Haskell. He would be talking with Wally, Beaver’s older brother, about something like dropping out of school to make big money fixing cars, and Beaver’s mom, June Cleaver would enter the scene. Eddie would stop everything to fawningly say hello to her, and then ask some question concerning her well being. 

It was patten of phony pseudo-ingratiating, much like Trump does when talking about something, which he knows nothing about. (Ie “As you know, many people are saying …” etc.)

Eddie had a standard pattern of phrases too. “Hello Mrs. Clever. My you are …”

She always played it straight. She never demurred. It was always, “Hello Eddie … “ and there was no acknowledgement that it was phony. Maybe a “that’s nice” comment, but that was about it.

As soon as she left the scene Eddie would drop back into his normal voice and go back to whatever he had been talking about. There wasn’t any malice to what he was saying or doing to anyone, not even Beaver, the younger brother. I mean he might say something to try and elevate his stature in regards to “the Beav” as Wally called his younger brother. But it was always done with this phony air of authority, at best.

Haskell was often imitated by us watchers of the show, because it was so easy to do, and because it represented a “don’t you get it?”, “don’t you see I’m being obviously disingenuous?” kind of humor. 

It was fun when everyone “got it” and was thus “in on the joke.” It was awkward when someone took it for real and didn’t understand.

You can only be funny with obvious bad manners or bad behavior if other people recognize what you are doing for what it is.

I rarely do such humorous things now. Too many people “don’t get it.”

*We are now within spitting distance of the election and my counts may be off. I will revise and recalibrate soon.

17 Days* until the election on November 3^rd

97 Days until the Inauguration on January 20, 2021

PS Keeping His Promise? (WTF?)

It was Sunday October 4, 1970. The news that Janis Joplin had died rocked the world. The next day I went to calculus class wearing a black arm band. I couldn’t concentrate. Fortunately, I was in the back with my head on the book rest. I remember a person telling me I didn’t look good and suggested I go to the infirmary. When I arrived there they took my temperature. 106! Maybe, 104 I can’t remember. I lay in a delirious fever for three days. I liken it to what Dostoevsky wrote about in The Brothers Karamazov (or was it Crime and Punishment?) when he spoke of falling into a fever for days.

I was and am still a big Janis fan. The local paper here in Northampton, Massachusetts ran a front page article about her on the 4^th. She played in the area several times. The article quoted a rock historian who in elegant words got it right about Janis.

I saw her live three times. When people ask me what it was like and what her performance was like I say, “Pure liquid sex.” I saw men rush the stage like teenage girls on steroids at a Beatles performance. I observed her take a disbelieving crowd at the Yale New Haven Bowl at a concert put on by The Greater New Haven Jaycees and have everyone eating our of her hand by the time she was done. No one has ever come close to what she could emote on stage. The passion, the depth, the sexualness, the rawness, the power. When I talk about her sexuality, it wasn’t flirtatious stuff. It was pure honest stuff without compromise. As the expert in the paper wrote there was “a joyous physicality” about her on stage performance.

It was joyous. It was vulnerable. She had a sense of humor about whatever her situation was. She had been arrested in Florida for lewd behavior the week before she performed at The University of Maryland’s Cole Field House. After her first song she said, “When I got here they told me I can’t smoke, I can’t drink, I can’t take my clothes off. Man, I can’t do nuthin’! “ The crowd ate it up.

Since her death I’ve read various accounts of what happened. At Woodstock she and a buddy were doing herion for fun. The stuff that killed her was much purer than what was usually on the street. The dealer that sold it to her said his chemist was out of town that weekend and hence it didn’t get tested. What? It all sounds so normal, so antiseptic. 

Janis would be 77 today. Imagine what she could have done? She and Jimi and Jim Morrison were all unique in their own ways. The likes of which we have not seen again. When it was happening, it swirled around me. I had such luck, such coincidences, such good fortune to have experienced some of it. 

Janis brought pain and joy, rage and humility, depth and humor to the stage. 

She typically ended her shows with “Ball and Chain.”

It was like a diva or prima-ballerina holding the audience in her thrall. 

“And it felt like a balllllllllllll 

A balllllllllll……

And CHAIN.”

Ta dum.

She didn’t let them go until she was done, and she wasn’t done for as long as she wanted to hold that last line. Nothing and no one moved until she brought down the house with that last word. 

Even now, fifty years later, recounting it in the written word I tear up.

Lydia Pence of Cold Blood had the jazzy chops. 

Courtney Hadwin has the chops but is too young.

Cecila Bartoli has the power, and the emotional range, but not the physicality.

No. There has been no one like Janis.

Monday October 5, 2020

27 Days until the election on November 3^rd

107 Days until the Inauguration on January 20, 2021

Some are wondering if Satan was sicker than earlier reporting. Of course!

Details? You don’t need no stinky’ details.

He’s a liar. White Houses lie about such things going back in history, so yes, he’s sicker than we thought.

Why didn’t he take Hydroxy? Or swallow bleach? Or shove a blue light up his rectum?

No, instead he listened to scientists and doctors. Interesting. He hasn’t done that before. At least not publicly. 

You know if Covid gets in your lungs a mucous develops that makes breathing like you’re underwater or have jello in your air sacks. To quote the president, I think if he were to experience that, “It would be very interesting.”

You want more Septic news? No? I hear you.

The man who plows our driveway in Maine came down to get his Sawsall back. He wondered if we borrowed or stole it. We assured him we had some good bids on eBay. I asked how his wife was doing. This was on September 24^th. “She died,” he said, “last year, September 29^th.” I had no idea.

Before leaving Maine, on Friday October 3^rd, I returned his Sawsall and the two chainsaws I had borrowed. I had asked Shelby to print a picture of Emmett and caption it “Emmett Leo McCartney (great-grandson of Dick & Peggy Kinnaird) born September 29, 2020 9lbs, 10 oz: 21.5 inches)”

He knew my parents.

I gave the picture to him. He looked at it carefully and he said quietly, “September 29^th.” He looked at me, and I at him. We both knew that was one year to the day when his wife had died.

I hope this news brings him a ray of joy on that date every year.

I have not published any pictures of Emmett, respecting his parents wishes.

Maybe, we are turning a corner. Maybe, more good news will follow. Maybe, we have almost finished our march through hell. One can hope.

PS Thursday October 2^nd the septic problem is nearly done – “Thank God!” dean posing atop the tank with manhole cutout and ( Sawsall 🙂 .

Day 1353 – Was Mickey O’Rourke the John the Baptist of out time?

Friday October 2, 2020

30 Days until the election on November 3^rd

110 Days until the Inauguration on January 20, 2021

This was written on Oct 5, reflecting on events of October 2.

Talk about bizarre twists, Mickey was supposedly in a bizarre twist on The Masked Singer. I couldn’t read the article, due to a sense of revulsion or not really caring.

But today? Wow. What a bizarre twist? The president has Covid. 

Some are wishing him a speedy recovery and well wishes.

Others might want to say, “Ha, you miserable piece of shit. You got what you deserved.”

Some are wondering if he might die. I hope not. I think we should intubate him immediately. That means shove a tube down his throat. Usually, that means he would be unconscious while he was intubated, but I say, “Why?” He’s a man. He’s brave. He’s strong (ie not a pussy.) Shove it down his throat no anesthesia. Hum. Maybe knock him out. But if so Pence would become acting president. Nah, intubate him too.

Then Acting President Pelosi could get some stuff done.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to die. I want him to come to the day after the Inauguration. Waking up in a hospital bed in an orange jump suit and hand cuffed to the bed. 

But that’s just me. Some have other ideas.

PS Moon over Maine

Note: This screed was written on the date shown, but due to “shallow shit” and other things happening it didn’t make it out until four days later.

Thursday October 1, 2020

31 Days until the election on November 3^rd

111 Days until the Inauguration on January 20, 2021

Okay, okay, calm down. Have you heard the big news?

Okay, Ruth Bader Ginsberg died.

The president and Republicans want to push through a young right wing Christian woman who wants to put Christianity into all aspects of the law, wants to abolish the ACA, and a bunch of other stuff that will mean the end of, not civilization, just our democracy and way of life. Millions will be thrown off health care and unable to get it, and Roe v Wade will be overturned. All this means is that the unwanted pregnancies will go up, as will women dying in childbirth, and STDs will increase. The poor, unable to seek health care due to cost will get sicker and die sooner, but “Hey?” Wasn’t that the Republican healthcare plan all along? Remember Alan Grayson standing on the House floor saying just that years ago? Well, now it has a super chance of coming to pass.

What about Covid? It’s on the rise in many states. The president although begged not to hold rallies continues to do so. Dubbed by some as “super spreader events.” So what? He’s on a stage away from “those disgusting people” as he call them.

Did you love the debate? What debate? There was none. Trump played the bratty child and Wallace didn’t know what to do. The best was Trump going on about wildfires in California. How they didn’t clean up their forest floors, etc. Following the debate, a doctor talking about Covid mentioned that 60% of the fires in California are on National lands. That’s the Federal government. That’s Satan’s responsibility. Hum. Wonder if he even know that? Would it matter? When it comes to actually doing the job, be it president, business man, or deal maker – he’s terrible.

Actually, he’s worse than terrible. He’s clueless.

I’ll make two suggestions for the upcoming debates. One – a mute button. Some have said Satan would never agree to it. That’s fine. He doesn’t have to show up. Two – have each candidate answer questions in separate rooms, use a split screen.

Okay, on to the big news. The septic system is working again! Want details? Nobody cares, except my brother, who is fascinated by this kind of stuff, and I might add, was very helpful with just-in-time information and guidance. There were a number of fortunate discoveries and information acquired just as it was needed. Want to hear about it? Still, “No!” huh? Well, okay, my friend Frank said it looks like I was in deep do-do. I said, “No, not after the guys came and pumped out the tank,” I was only in shallow do-do. (Ha ha ha, sure you don’t want to hear about it? Okay. Nevermind.

You want the big news? And this is incredible. I just saw the headline this morning and haven’t had time to really dig into it. Here’s the headline, “Mickey O’Rourke unveils himself as Masked Singer contestant in bizarre twist”

Yeah, I know. Right? Who knew Mickey O’Rourke could sing? Who knew he was still alive? Incredible.

I know what you’re thinking, “Is that if?”

As they say on TV, “But wait, there’s more.”

On September 29, 2020 at 11:20 pm I became a grandfather. EmmettLeo McCartney was born to Jon Hunter McCartney and Katherine Marie Kinnaird: 9lbs 10oz.

He reportedly “has his mother’s lungs and his father’s disposition.”  All are well. We get to see the little one Lion King Style (ie socially distanced) in a week.

…