Day 106 – The Goat Ate My Pants

Tuesday May 4, 2021

I was thinking of that scene from Ally McBeal where that guy who was in Numbers and 24 and Ally yelled out something in Spanish during a brief session when everyone was yelling something in Spanish. Then everyone stopped and looked at him. One person asked him, “Did you just say, ‘The goat ate my pants,’ ?” And he admitted he had. “Why?” someone asked. Because it’s the only phrase he remembered in Spanish. (Obviously, a hold over from high school language class.)  I’ve been there and I suspect we all have. Being caught up in the moment.

What a weird, funny, scary time. We are now in.

The Florida Republicans are in the midst of rushing through a voter suppression law. The idiot governor says he will sign it. Then someone stopped and said wait a minute, this will disenfranchise many Republican voters! They tried to change the legislation but it’s too late and the new wording wouldn’t work. Now they are faced with a possible law that will cut out and enrage many of their voters. What to do? Who knows? Hey, I have a wacky idea – don’t pass the legislation.

Speaking of not passing legislation – Mitch McConnell has once again promised that no Republicans in the Senate will vote for Biden’s latest legislation. This is a repeat of the last legislation Biden and the Dems passed last round.

This is a winning strategy?

Let see. As of yesterday 64% of voters in the U.S. like the direction the country is going in. That is an unheard of number. In March the country saw the largest increase in family income since they’ve been keeping records (1959) 21.4%. 

Yeah. Oh, and get this. The new bill Biden passed last round will be a bigger tax cut for the poor and middle class than anything the Republicans have passed. 

Yeah. You want lower taxes? Vote Democratic.

You want a strong economy? Vote Democratic.

You want more money in your pocket? Vote Democratic.

You want nothing to get done? Vote Republican.

You want to watch your country get torn apart by racists, Russians, conmen (and con-women)? Vote Republican.

We are now leading the world in vaccinations. Imagine if Satan was still in office? We be looking at those charts of death and new cases of infection.

Apparently, our rate of vaccination is going down. Why? We are getting through the people who understand that a vaccination means they get their life back. We are now into the “Oh gee, I don’t know” crowd.

I have a simple solution – leper colonies.

If you aren’t vaccinated you are banned from society. Simple.

Or I’ve got another fab idea. This for those who liked The Hunger Games and all those dystopian fantasies – roving gangs of vaccinators. If you can’t prove you are vaccinated (“Show me your papers!”) you get jabbed on the spot. No questions asked.

Oh let’s see, there was the guy who took to the stand to defend himself, because, well his dad was a judge and he had worked in the courts so he knew what he was doing. Apparently, he admitted on the stand to saying, “kill the juice.” And that was “code” for “kill the jews.” Who knew? So clever. He said it was a bad joke, in poor taste and that there were a lot of Hitler memes running around the internet. Hey, guess what? Guilty. Not funny. Think about it in jail.

Oh then there’s the Arizona recount. They were going to be  done way before May 14 when all the high schools have their graduations there. Now, they are not so sure they’ll be done. In fact, they won’t. This ain’t stunning news according to the few reporters who have been watching the operation. In fact, anyone who looks at a picture of the operation can attest to this. On the left side of the screen are pallets of ballots (quick say that three times fast!) On the right is an empty area where I am told there are a few boxes of the processed ballots. I didn’t see any boxes over there but okay, there are some boxes over there with done inspected ballots. They’ve been at this – how many weeks or days? I’d say they’ll be done by 2080.

In between the left and the right are a bunch of folks that look like they are dressed for a green screen taping. Some are in blue, some green, some yellow – I think. There are round tables with lazy Sussans on them and what look like micro-fiche machines. I think they are the ultraviolet light machines which are checking for watermarks and folds. 

I think that what we need is a show where the people in charge, the Cyber Ninja folks, are brought on to give us – “Important Updates.” I think Al Franken should host it with special Zoom guest – Donald Trump. “You know Al a lot of people are saying…”, “Really? Who?”, “Lots of people Al, and you’d be surprised what they are finding.”, “I would be? Like what?”, “Lots of stuff Al. Lots of stuff.”

The Arizona recount thing has gotten to the point where people are asking what will happen when they present their findings?

Okay, here’s my take on it. They won’t present. They will dribble on and on, until someone kills it and they can protest that they were so close to The Truth! (If only they had been given more time and money.) The reality is there is no fraud and they are now in charge of proving there is and there isn’t. All they can do is wander around that arena when no one else is using it and play with those micro-fiche blue light machines.

Let’s not forget that the guy who is the tech wizard for the Cyber Ninjas has to his names an invention that is considered one of the top 20 worst inventions ever. Has written books on hidden treasure for every state in the union and many foreign countries. Is a big time Trump supporter, and big guy, as is evidenced by a picture of him towering over and squeezing the crap out of a diminutive smiling terrified Rudy Giuliani.

But it gets better than that. A reporter took a picture of a fellow at the site who is working there, inspecting ballots. Who is this fellow? Why he’s a guy whose name is on the ballot, and who lost his election. Not only that but he has been button holed by the sheriff’s organization as a cheater. The reporter posted the picture and then said something like, “Oh, look who’s here.” The reporter was escorted from the building.

In other stuff, Kevin McCarthy, minority Speaker of the House, has now sent out a message telling his voters that “help is on the way.” Yeah, you go Kevin! That bill? The one you called socialism? The one you actively lobbied your caucus to vote against? Yeah, that bill. You are now taking credit for. Nice.

A better message to send your voters would be, “Despite my best efforts. Despite my actively working against this bill and rallying my fellow Republicans it was to no avail. Therefore, the bill became law and it will help you tremendously. Please vote for me so I can continue to work against you.”

Up in the Senate Mitch McConnell has said that no Republican Senator will vote for the infrastructure bill no matter what is in it. This may be a bit of a problem for old Mitch. See there’s a bridge between Ohio and Kentucky that really needs fixing. In the bill Biden has proposed there is money specifically to fix that bridge. Yeah, I bet some of the folks in Kentucky are going to be asking themselves, “WTF? Mitch. WTF?”

And lastly four of the families that had their kids ripped from them by Stephen Miller and the rest of that Sadistic gang are being reunited after four years. I hope and pray that the kids are alright (Hey, that could be a song!) and I hope that somehow charges are brought against Miller and he spends the rest of his life in solitary confinement.