Day 154 – Maybe I’ve Found My True Calling In Life? (Maybe Not)

*** Hey that could be a lyric in a song!

Wednesday July 21, 2021

Okay, another one of Trump’s people has been indicted. I mean he was only a secret agent for a foreign government. Got Satan to say exactly what they wanted him to say and had him piss off one of our allies in the Middle East. An ally that has a huge air base of ours! Good job! Now he’s indicted. But before that he made $1.5B. Betray your country for a buck or a billion. Why not?

Meanwhile, Fox is starting to tell people that maybe they ought to think about getting vaccinated. I guess rising death tolls among the people who give them ratings is having an effect.

And then there’s the new book out telling how screwed up the Satan’s last year in office was. Remember that general whom Lincoln said only that general could snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? Yeah, well that’s nothing. Here we had a president that could have associated himself with the effort to develop a vaccine and instead has turned against that and somehow managed to associate getting vaccinated with losing the election that he still claims he won. 

But I am not here to talk about any of that today. No. I have a higher calling. I have been finally found what I was put on Earth to do. (Can I get an “Amen”? No? Never mind.) 

It came upon me strangely. This realization. It was Rachel who said, “I don’t have the guts, but I’m a fan.”

Wow, heady words. I felt a strange welling up of – well – pride. That sense that here is something that I can do, that others dare not. 

I had never thought of it in these terms before. I only was sharing with the world my gift. I didn’t even realize it was a gift, and yet, there it was.

In the 60s one would have said they were doing their thing. Imagine how the world would have been different if all them long hair hippies had joined in back then? What a different place the world would be right now.

Ah me.

So Rachel, this is for you. The secret of my success is G.U.T.S.

It my new buzz phrase and the name of my soon to be released on YouTube videos and Facebook course that you will be able to download for $9.95 ($20.95 for Premium). 

It will show you all the Tip & Tricks.

The Inner Being you need to succeed.

The Will and Determination that you must display to rise to the level of where I am today. I call it G.U.T.S.

G.U.T.S. is:

Gobsmackedness – be astonished. Always, be astonished.

Unswervedness – You must be true and straight (no, not that kind of straight)

Tenacideness – You must show sticktoitiveness 

SupremeConfidence – You must believe! Believe that every shot is a winner. Because you are a winner!

I am laying plans as we speak for a chain of practice parking lots for those too meek to try it on the real field of battle. I will take over run down driving ranges and/or cook up franchise deals with them. Together we will pave over a section of their range, add shopping carts and a have cart deposit stations strategically placed at predetermined distances.  I will be in talks with Amazon to use part of the parking lots of deserted shopping centers they took over to use as well. Any day now!

In this way you can come in and practice shooting a cart from the same place over and over again until you get it right.

I will train people to be instructors. They will show you how to correct your wayward hook, your fading slice, how to read the lot, and so much more.

Of course you don’t need to get private lessons. My instructional videos will have it all. And you can buy a second video for the cost of shipping and handling, which is a real deal because it comes downloadable off the web.

My alter ego – Bryce Holliwell – will be your instructor on these videos. Or should a say Altar Ego? Get it? OMG, I am, if nothing else, clever.

I gotta go. Time to check if the guys picked up the recycling.

BTW Rachel,

Joe would have loved this discussion. He bought Grandmaster from Mary Joe (I think that was her name.) She was Jim Lambrakis’ girlfriend. Jim died and she inherited the business. I remember her flying the Grandmaster on a hill the year Jim died. I was glad for her that Joe bought the business. It was a good fit for both. Joe would fly that kite in the lobby of the hotels where we had the AKA conventions. He was dedicated to it.

I was in Teitsein at the kite factory where Jim had his kites made. Frames were stacked to the ceiling. The people who ran the factory were eager to sell me kites. I asked about the Grandmaster and was told, “No.” They were making them for someone. They could not sell them. I was more curious than wanting to buy as Jim had sent me many Grandmasters to promote on the east coast.

Jim was a funny guy. He had been a psychotherapist in New York or something like that. He was very overbearing in his conversation. Always asking you questions in a way that you could only answer one way, and he’d box you in. 

Joe was laid back. The exact opposite of Jim.

The most interesting flier of the Indian fighter I ever saw was Vic Heredia of Vic’s Fighter Kites. He could make a kite dance around someone’s head in much the same way Lee Sedgewick can do with a four line Revolution. When I met Vic he was more interested in showing me his grip for a 35mm camera because there are a lot more photographers than kitefliers. Just like there are a lot more golf club shafts to be sold than leading edges for Rev kites. 

Ah me.

I will be working on two new shopping cart skills this summer: one physical, one mental (or should I say for the latter, “I’ll be developing inner mental muscle”? Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket. )

The Down Hill Field Hockey Style Hook Shot* is the physical. This is the shot you need when way up hill in the parking lot where you let the cart go down the slope and it fades to one side and into the slot. The danger here is that you may encounter a car coming up the lane, or the cart may wander off and hit a parked car broadside, or (wait there’s more!) your cart could make it all the way to the bottom of the hill in front of the grocery store where it gets rammed by a car that is driving by the front of the store.

* or TDHFHSHS for short

This is where the mental practice comes in. I call it:

The Plausible Deniability – What Are You Looking at Me?** Mental attitude. You can learn a lot from studying cats for this one. You know when cute little Buttons brings home a half alive mouse or snake and leaves it on the deck as a present and you say, “Buttons what the hell is this?” And cute little Buttons looks at her paw and licks it like “What?” 

** or TPD-WAYLaM? for short

Yes, you need that mental toughness to be able to look around, shake your head, as if to say, “OMG, that is unbelievable.” People will think you are in concert with them and their feelings of shock, surprise and horror when in reality you are Gobsmacked that you missed the cart slot. (But as a friend of mine who captained a boat once told me, “The crew does not need to know they are about to die.” Similar principle.)

So much to do. So little time.

Oh the guys just hooked and dumped the recycling. Noe I really gotta go.

Later. Take Care. I’ll be in the field (or the lot).