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Rick Kinnaird

Rick Kinnaird

Day 956 – Please let reality interrupt your fantasy

August 20, 2019 by Rick Kinnaird Leave a Comment

Obama and other prominent African Americans featured in a redone painting of the Night Watch
The Night Watch
Updated

Monday August 19, 2019

443 Days until the 2020 election and 525 days until the Inauguration

I am preparing a talk on Richard Halliburton. He was a childhood hero of mine. He travelled the world in the 1920s and 30s and wrote about it. He did crazy things. He swam the Panama Canal. He flew an airplane to Timbuktu. He hid from guards at the Taj Mahal so he could swim in the pool at night. He died sailing a Chinese junk from Hong Kong to San Francisco in 1939. Or so I thought.

Halliburton was a contemporary of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Hemingway. He was ridiculed by Hemingway and rather ignored by his fellow Princetonian Fitzgerald. Yes, Halliburton’s writing was flowery and dreamy and over the top, but to a young boy? It was the stuff of dreams. Halliburton fired the imagination with thoughts and stories. Tales of what it must have been like in ancient times. How could you not be enthralled? His first book was called “Royal Road to Romance.” In it he spoke of being at Princeton and his chums were studying to be chemists and accountants. How? he asked, could they be chaining themselves to that sort of life when there was this whole world to explore? This world of romance? He used the term “romance” to mean adventure and the mystery of exploring.

Did he embellish his stories? Yeah. Apparently.

Hunter S. Thompson once admitted that if he had done all the drugs he claimed to have done in his books he would have been dead. So…

But then we come to Halliburton and “The Sea Dragon.” The name of his junk. It was 1939, Hong Kong. The Japanese Navy was carrying out war like naval exercises just outside of the Hong Kong harbor. There were delays in building the boat. like three months. They went out on a sea trial and nearly capsized in moderate seas. Many of the original crew decided they had had enough and left. The captain seemed ill equipped. His biggest skill was annoying everyone onboard. When the junk did leave the harbor few noticed. They were on the edge of war. Then halfway to Midway they ran into a typhoon, a monster storm with 40 to 50 foot waves. Admiral “Bull” Halsey was out with his fleet and reported not being able to tell where the air was from the water. Planes broke loose below decks. Several of his ships were in irons and at the mercy of the storm. His fleet was supposed to pass the Sea Dragon the next day. They saw nothing. A ship reported seeing what might have been part of the Sea Dragon’s rudder. That was all that was ever seen or known as to what happened. 

Years later an expert on building Chinese junks was asked if he would like to recreate the Sea Dragon and try to repeat the voyage. He scoffed. Why? The Sea Dragon did not look like a junk to him, but rather a prop for a movie set. It certainly wasn’t the type of junk that had been used to cross the ocean.

But Halliburton had reported in glowing terms the beauty and magic of the trial sailing of the Sea Dragon. The reality was much different, of course. Like Gauguin, who came to Tahiti, and not finding what he had supposed painted the world he imagined, Halliburton had written in romantic terms about his adventure; and why not? It had worked for him before. He’d figure it out. Someone or something would come to the rescue. 

There’s no rescue from fifty foot waves in the middle of a typhoon in the middle of the Pacific.

Reality can be a bitter place.

I have worked for large corporations. I have seen incompetent managers ignore facts, make stupid decisions and blithely say, “So and so will write some code and bail us out.”

We see this in government too. Currently, all the practices and institutions we have carefully built and crafted are under assault both from within and without. We will be lucky if the only thing destroyed are those things we have created.

The other day our government tested a short range cruise missile. A few days before that Russia had a nuclear powered missile blow up. Reagan and Gorbachev signed a missile treaty banning such weapons. Trump has torn up that treaty as well as many others. We are now embarking on an arms race with Russia. We have left Iran to do the same. This is dangerous stuff. 

Bluster and tweeting and alternate facts don’t replace half lifes and e = mc squared. 

I remember reading a piece years ago that said no one should be allowed to negotiate a nuclear treaty that hasn’t seen the effects of a nuclear bomb first hand. That they should have to put their forearm over their eyes and see their bones as the X-Rays coarse through them. Then and only then should they be allowed to negotiate.

There’s the analogy about a frog being put in cool water and then slowly turning up the heat. It will stay in the water and be boiled to death. But if you throw the frog into boiling water it will do everything it can to get out. Climate change is the slow boil. Nuclear is the boiling water. Unfortunately, with nuclear war there is nowhere to jump out to safety. There is no one to write some code afterwards to save us.

443 Days until the 2020 election and 525 days until the Inauguration

PS An updated Night Watch 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Day 955 – I’m getting ripped off!

August 19, 2019 by Rick Kinnaird 2 Comments

Day 955 – I’m getting ripped off!

Sunday August 18, 2019

444 Days until the 2020 election and 526 days until the Inauguration

In my last post I wrote about Denmark buying the U.S. and posted it. A few hours later Andy Borowitz of the New York Times posted roughly the same headline. Obviously, he is reading me for inspiration.

Obviously.

Moving on. Let’s talk solar, wind and nuclear power. Having just returned from a Rhine River cruise where at my age I would be considered one of the younger passengers I found myself either in or overhearing some very – shall we say – conservative viewpoints. One such conversation (well actually I thinkI heard the same conversation multiple times from the same person. At this age you forget who you’ve told what to.) He said: people are doing solar to get paid by the government, windmills last fifteen years and have a payback that takes forty, and nuclear is the way to go. His example in the solar case was a building that was going to put on solar panels that would be in the shadow of a soon to be built sky scrapper. The folks didn’t care as long as it was installed so they could get the money back from the government.

To quote Sonny of Cher, “Well, I don’t know if all that’s true…” but I did look into the windmill claim. I couldn’t find anything that backed up the 15 versus 40 year claim. Most studies said windmills paid for themselves in 6 to 8 months and were predicated on lasting 20 years.

As far as the nuclear statement went I asked, “What are you going to do with the waste?” He had no answer. Nuclear energy has been around since what? 1945? less that one hundred years. The waste can last 10,000 years or much longer. We’ve had enough accidents already, and the potential for catastrophic ones is huge. What if the huge nuclear waste just off the Columbia River in Washington state where they made the first nuclear fuel for out atom bombs finally makes it to the river? Or what if the frozen dam around Fukishima melts and pollutes the Pacific” Or what about the 55 gallon drums of nuclear waste sunk off the coast of California after WWII? Or Chernobyl? Or the recent nuclear rocket explosion in Russia? Or all the spent fuel rods lying around sites in the U.S. All that waste was suppose to go somewhere. No one wants it in their back yard. Even in the middle of the godforsaken Nevada desert at Yucca Mountain they stopped it. There was also the little problem of making sure the ground water never rose to where the stuff was being buried for ten thousand years. And then there’s Rick Perry who for a campaign contribution from Waste Management allowed them to put a bunch of nuclear waste in a pit protected by a thick plastic sheet on the border with New Mexico. No one tells Texas what to do! Oh yeah? If that sheet breaks he infects the water supply of five states.

The problem with nuclear is the waste and accidents. No one seems to have answered those questions and I frankly don’t trust this bunch of idiots* (past, present, and future) to be able to take care of it.

*This includes all mankind.

Buckminster Fuller once stated that no matter where you are on Earth the wind is blowing somewhere within fifty miles of you (or was it five?). Seems like we have an answer. And – news flash – the sun comes up everyday. I think we could figure sometinig out.

Mannekins dressed in rave shirts
Yeah Baby!

444 Days until the 2020 election and 526 days until the Inauguration

PS Rave on Garth!

Filed Under: Trump

Day 954 Trump Given Greenland

August 17, 2019 by Rick Kinnaird 1 Comment

Day 954 Saturday August 17, 2019

445 Days until the 2020 election and 527 days until the Inauguration

DENMARK BUYS U.S. 

GIVES TRUMP GREENLAND  

DECLARES HIM KING

DATELINE Copenhagen:

Denmark today bought the United States of America.

It was a surprise move after they told president Trump Greenland was not for sale.

They offered instead to buy the U.S.

In moves reminiscent of other takeovers, notably KKR buying Nabisco with junk bonds in the 80s and the Pew Charitable Trust’s taking of the Barnes Collection by putting up the assets of the target as collateral, Denmark managed to convince president Trump that he could be king if he’d immediately move there and sign a declaration giving the United States of America to Denmark. In exchange, Denmark would give Trump Greenland, the title of King of Greenland, and a large strip of land in Greenland on which to build a condo complex and three 18 hole golf courses.

“It’s a great deal,” said Mr. Trump. “What with climate change and the melting ice in Greenland, every day we are reclaiming more land.”

In order to cinch the deal Denmark promised to pay the top 1% and the top 1/10th of 1% billions and billions of Krona, financed with Chines junk bonds. They also promised to make Ivanka a princess.

“Who doesn’t want their daughter to be a princess?” said Mr. Trump. Jared will be a prince, of course. 

“He already is a prince,” said Mr. Trump. “Just look what his family business has done to that shithole called Baltimore.”

Erik and Donald will become duke and arch-duke, respectively.

“Why can’t I be an arch-duke?” asked Eric.

“Because I am,” said Donnie.

“Oh,” said Erik.

“See Spot run!” said Jane. (Wait, how did that get in here?)

The family has been put aboard the Presidential yacht and are now steaming toward their new home.

Updates to follow.

Happy Trumpy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS Guatemalans blacklisted by Trump

 

445 Days until the 2020 election and 527 days until the Inauguration

Filed Under: Fantasy, Trump

Day 953 The Mystery of Mitch

August 16, 2019 by Rick Kinnaird 1 Comment

Day 953 Friday August 16, 2019

446 Days until the 2020 election and 528 days until the Inauguration

“It’s complicated.” (No, it’s not.)

The Mystery of Mitch revealed.

Komodo dragon at attention
What?

My first real job was working for Western Electric in a factory. We made the hardware that the phone companies used to break out pairs of wires from large cables that ran out of the central offices to your home. This included hardware for electric protection from lightning or from a line that had picked up added electric current by running next to a higher powered electric line. The fuse thingee that did that dual job was called a “unit protector.” It was a screw top hollowed piece of brass (think 50 caliber machine gun spent shell) that housed a slug of lead, spring loaded. It also housed two pieces of carbon separated by a ring of porcelain. The idea being that the carefully separated carbon would only allow so much electricity to pass. Therefore if your line ran next to a high powered electric line and picked up extra current it would be bled off by the separated carbon. The lead and the spring were for lightning. If a huge spike came the lead would melt, the spring would push and break the connection. It was because of unit protection that no one in the old Bell System ever got killed by lightning or electric overload. 

We put these unit protectors in blocks of plastic with cables running out the bottom. The units were called the N-Type unit protector. The story goes that the Bell Labs engineer asked the Western Electric engineer what he wanted to call it and the Western Electric engineer said “anything” (you want to call it.) They had a bad connection (this was like 1929) and the Labbie heard “N,” hence N-type.

When I came to the factory as a bright eyed college educated know-it-all everyone said that the N-type job was complicated because there were so many different types of unit protector models and few if any knew what they all were or even how many different types there were. “It’s very complicated.” I was told.

“There’s different types of unit protectors, different lengths of cables, different number of unit protectors in a block, and different kinds of cables used, depending. It’s complicated.” Is what I was told.

I looked at the various types (ie models). Turns out the numbers were 2,4,4,2.

That is two types of actual unit protectors we could screw into a block. Four different lengths of cables, four different models of blocks of block to hold various number of unit protectors (I think 10, 12, 25, and 50), and two different types of cable: plastic or lead.

I laid it out in a grid: length of cable by number of unit protectors in a block (that’s a 4×4 grid for a total 16 different types). Each block in my grid could have either lead or plastic cable and one kind or another of unit protector. (that’s 2×2 or 4). Therefore, 16 models times 4 was 64. that was the number of different types of N-Type unit protectors Western Electric made – 64. With one exception, they had one wacky one that took a different unit protector so the math was (4x4x2x2)+1=65.

I had made clear something that had been considered “complicated” for 40 years.

Wendy’s used to run an ad campaign that said they’d cook your burger anyway you wanted it, and add whatever you wanted, just for you – 256 different ways. It was complicated, there were so many choices: pickles, mustard, tomato, mayo, onion, lettuce, ketchup, cheese. So many choices. I could only come up with 255 combinations. I ended up listing out all the combos. Then it hit me. A plain burger, no toppings was what I was missing. I figured out that you can lay this out on a single 8 bit byte (oh man tech meets (meats? ha ha, I’m a riot!) burgerland.) You lay out 8 check boxes, either the customer wants it or they don’t. How many choices are there? It two to the eight power or 256. The box I forgot was when it was all unchecked (ie all zeros.) 

Komodo dragon stalking
I Got This

In both cases people told me it was complicated. It’s not. You have to take some time to think about it. To lay out the problem, until it becomes clear in your mind. (and then some idiot friend (you know who you are!) will come along and say, “Yes. Of course, isn’t that obvious?”)

So now we get to politics. Well, let’s start with religion. Or more specifically morality. The minister who baptized me once asked my brother, “Can you think of a new sin?” (The answer is “No.” Just in case you were racking your brain.) The point being that the things that are considered sins are pretty well known. Now, let’s move to politics.

Specifically, let’s look at Mitch McConnell and his actions in the last few years. They seemed bizarre to me. “Why would he do that?” I’d ask myself. “It’s complicated.” I was told.

Based on my experience with “complication” my antenna immediately went up to say, “No, it’s not.” It may take some paying attention, but complicated? I doubt it. Sometimes you have to wait and ponder things. You may have to wait on new evidence to emerge. You may be looking at the problem in the wrong way. But once you put all the pieces together (and scrap the ones that aren’t part of the situation, but you didn’t know it at the time.) Then the problem can be, usually, easily defined. (Leading to your idiot friend saying, “Well, yes. Of course.”)

Sometimes the problem and it’s answer are staring you in the face and you can’t believe it. Like the 90 meter wave that hit Crete and wiped out the Minotians. Okay, not a good example: how about the valence of an atom being thought to be one value when it was really another? Hence, Linus Pauling couldn’t construct the DNA molecule, but Watson and Crick did because they asked, “What if?” Or what about the death of the Roman Republic? It died because everyone thought that it couldn’t (die).

Most things that are “complicated” are that way because there is too much information needed for us to hold it all in our brains to figure it out. DNA and what each part does is an example. On one level, it’s not complicated: four atoms. On another it’s super complicated because there are so many of them and they are put together in so many different combinations and structures. In order to understand DNA, we as humans need to construct building blocks of strings of the stuff and try to figure our what those little parts are doing. It’s complicated because there is so much stuff.

But Mitch McConnell? Is what he has done complicated in comparison? 

If you assume that we elect basically good people, who believe in the values of this country (however you wish to define them) then McConnell’s behavior doesn’t make much sense.

Komodo dragon with tongue out
You Want Some of This?

But if you look at his actions and say to yourself, “Based on the actions alone, what do I think is going on?” In other words, “What is motivating Mitch McConnell to act the way he is acting?”

Well, it then becomes pretty obvious. He’s a greedy little self-serving man, who doesn’t give a damn about you or me, or this country. He’s in it for all he can get, with a weird twist that I haven’t quite figured out. That is “Why is he nominating all these unqualified people to judgeships?” I think, like the 90 meter wave, the answer is staring me in the face, and like those poor bastards several millennia ago. I don’t want to believe it, but the answer seems to be, “Because I can.”

Komodo dragon splayed out on ground
I’m Done

Trump may be more criminal than McConnell, but McConnell is more traitorous than Trump. By that I mean he has done more things to bring long term harm to this country than Trump. But as a team? They have been wrecking this country and everything it has stood for.

This isn’t about left versus right, conservative versus liberal. This is about who we are as a people and what we stand for.

I’m not done with this topic, but I’m done for now.

Exeunt, stage left.

446 Days until the 2020 election and 528 days until the Inauguration

PS Komodo I dunno

Filed Under: Trump

Andy King – on his passing

August 15, 2019 by Rick Kinnaird Leave a Comment

Andy King

I’m not sure when I first met Andy. It had to be at one of the American Kiteflier Conventions. Then I went over to England in ’83 and saw him at the Kite Store. We stayed up late at a restaurant and noticed the staff was sweeping the floor and turning chairs over and putting them on top of tables. Time to go.

Andy and the Decorators came to many of the AKA conventions. There are many memories of late nights and silliness. 

But the memory that I hold dearest was the time he came to the Hawaii convention. Corey and I, along with Andy decided to go for a swim in the hotel pool. It had just closed. So what? We began a synchronized swim to our vocalizing “Tiny Bubbles.” It was at this point that a lady came to the edge of the pool and told us that they had just dumped a bunch of chemicals in the pool and perhaps we ought to get out. This was followed by a hotel staff member telling us, very kindly, that the pool was closed. He was backed up by two very wide Samoan gentlemen in cheap cutaway FBI type sports jackets.

We decided it was time to exit the pool and have a drink poolside.

We saw the very gorgeous Carol Kanopski, her daughter, and her daughter’s friend. All three women were dressed for the Saturday night banquet. All were gorgeous and dressed in tube tops and mini-skirts. We called for them to come join us. They did. People were hooting out of the hotel windows at Corey, who was literally slobbering.

It was a great afternoon.

Andy was the epitome and spirit of kiting in the 80s. Two line kites were making their debut. We were thrilled by team flying and the antics around all that. Then came power kiting, buggying and quad-line kites. It was a thrilling time in kiting.

Andy’s spirit, and understanding of the essence what it all meant was essential to understanding the movement. Folks have moved on. Specializing or abandoning the sport and the pastime. It’s not the same. Or maybe, it is and we have moved on. 

In the past few years I heard reports that Andy was not the same. Not the person we knew. I reached out sparingly on facebook. Once someone is gone it’s easy to ask yourself if you could have done more. Of course you could have, if you had known. But we all have our lives to live, our path to select. Each one is different. Each one the same.

Rest in Peace Andy, 

PS I don’t have a picture of Andy, but I do have one of me and Katie and Alex when we went to visit him in London at the time of the great restaurant caper.

Katie, Alex, and Me

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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About Me

Rick Kinnaird
I’m Rick Kinnaird, a writer of fictional adventure and travel. That means I write stories about things that never happened in places I’ve never been. This way facts don’t get in the way.

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