Day 832
564 Days to the 2020 election and 642 Days to Inauguration Day
Statement by Mr. Bryce Holliwell, World Traveler and BFD.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
and all the rest of you.
It is with a semi-heavy heart that I announce the end of civilization as we know it.
That is why I have the phony backdrop of Paris behind me, because it was in France that civilization began and now ended.
As we await the press conference of Mr. William P. Barr to tell us some shit about a report that he won’t let us see, has now redacted, and is trying to pawn off to Congress as the real thing let me remind you that we’ve seen this before from Mr. Barr. Let me also remind you that he was the mastermind behind one of the greatest criminal conspiracy coverups in the history of the United States of America. With this latest venture into unlawfulness Mr. Barr has amassed by my count three strikes, which if this were a baseball game he’d be out.
But it is not baseball, it is civilization. I can only hope that if civilization is to end, that it should end much the way it found it’s mid-point, with The French Revolution and the guillotine. However, I’m getting ahead of myself.
Last night we went to see and hear David Sedaris, a very funny man. I have to say the guy who was sitting directly behind me and thought it a good idea to hoot loudly at every cute thing Sedaris said at the beginning of the show was not as bad as the fellow who screamed into the microphone which in turn blasted it out of the speakers at my nephew’s soccer game earlier this week. I learned to cover my ears every time the other team scored a goal, because the announcement caused me to jump out of my skin every time.
But I have unfortunately wandered off the path here…
Ah me. Where was I?
Oh yes, the end of civilization…
as we know it.
This of course raises the question of, “When did it all begin?”
That is civilization…
as we know it.
Not all civilization, just civilization as we know it.
But first let me say, before I forget again, the reason for this press conference, and I’d like to thank all of you who came, because I don’t think you are phony or the enemy of the people, I am by the way, one of those but not the other…
I’d also like to thank WDF for having me on.
That’s What Da – What Da – What Da Fuck?
Yes, where was I? Civilization, as we know it. It began in France. When Francis the first ask Leonardo to come live out his remaining years in an old folks home. Mr. Da Vinci did. Moving from Italy to France, where he died. Painting in France was transformed from flat crappy listless portraits to lush voluminous representations of reality. And France became the world’s leader in sophistication and taste.
Maybe not in all things practical, I mean you gotta wonder about building a place like Versailles and not having any toilets? Ah the French, you gotta love it.
We had warnings that civilization was ending. That art and culture was changing, but it took the burning of Notre Dame to symbolize and crystalize it for us.
My first thought when I heard the news was, “What? No fire suppression system?” Alas, no. Because why put one in? They hadn’t needed it in over 800 years? But now? Now we will shed tears and raise money to build anew. Maintain the old? Why bother? It’s been there forever, let someone else do that if they want to.
“They don’t know what they’ve got til it’s gone…”
That should be a song lyric.
Oh, it is?
Damn, I’m good.
The end of civilization was thought to be when all out nuclear war happened, and it may still be the case, as was announced in Mad Magazine’s take off on The Daily News, which they called The Daily Dirt. In that parody, between the announcements of a starlet who got a bruise on her thigh while the apartment building was being robbed. (The robbers were in a different unit and she slipped in the shower and bruised herself.) and the announcement of 1,000 pieces of furniture for $9.99 (one toothpick box and 999 tooth picks) there was a small headline on the bottom of column six which said, “Nuclear War Declared.” At the bottom of that column it said, “Today Russia and the U.S. declared nuclear war,” It then went to the top of column seven and finished in small print, “which is the end of civilization as we know it.”
And that’s where we are right now.
Oh we saw the signs. We just ignored them.
In 1907 the art world was forever changed. Moving pictures came to Paris. The great artists who had gathered in Montematre realized that representation painting was dead because a new representational reality was upon them and they began the long journey looking for a new reality.
That journey continues, with it’s many dead ends and false fronts.
Hand in hand with this journey are the manipulators and con men, or should I say “people”, con people. I wouldn’t want to leave anyone, like Sarah Sanders, out of the mix.
Yes the fore flushers and manipulators were there too. They were in a backroom scheming to start World War I so Britain could defeat Germany before it became too strong. Then again during the Spanish Civil War, which led to George Orwell’s writing of 1984. Then again after the Korean War with the founding of The John Birch Society and now with Fox News, Cambridge Analytica, and the vast right wing conspiracy so accurately identified by Hillary Clinton.
Yes, they are still here among us.
We will see yet another installment of heinousness dressed up in legalese and patriotism, but do not be deceived this is if not criminal, unpatriotic and not what are country is all about, or shouldn’t be. Not if we wish to remain the grand old gal.
I am giving this statement to get out in front of the phony narrative that will be advanced soon by Mr. Barr. He is giving a press conference about a report that no one has seen. He given a report like this before. To Congress, and the American people. It was about a memo he wrote telling that old bagman for Nixon, George H. W. Bush, that it was okay to send the FBI into a country to arrest someone without telling that country they were doing it. (Thus violating the rule of law known as The Charming Betsy – Ya gotta love that name – don’t ya?) He wrote a memo explaining the memo he had written earlier and now wouldn’t let anyone see. It turned out his ‘splainin’ was all a lie. So we know he’s a liar on this sort of thing. Of that there is no question.
He has no credibility. Yet he will try to sell it again.
Remember he was also the guy who convinced H. W. Bush to pardon Ollie North and Cap Wineburger and the rest of the criminal involved in Iran-Contra on Bush’s last day in office.
This guy will do anything for – for what? Not love as Meatloaf sang. In fact Meatloaf said he’d do anything but he wouldn’t do that.
Don’t worry Willie Barr will!
In fact, I’d like to announce the formation of a new effort and I’d invite Mr. Barr to be if not the head of it then the nominal head of it. “Judas, Inc.” With the slogan, “If you won’t sell us out, we will.”
Shekels? We won’t do it for Shekels. Heck we’ll do it, because that is what we do.
Ladies and Gentlemen in the next few hours we will see the end of civilization as we know it.
Don’t ask God to save us.
Save yourself.
Save your fellow persons.
This has been Bryce Holliwell reporting speaking live from world headquarters.
564 Days to the 2020 election and 642 Days to Inauguration Day
PS Bryce Holliwell and the end of civilization as we know it.